


No Girls, No Booze, No Fire

by rideswraptors



Series: Gallavich Shorts [5]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Liam brings people over, Liam-Mickey broship, M/M, They wanna know about Mickey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:00:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22404529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rideswraptors/pseuds/rideswraptors
Summary: "Look, I see it all the time. It's not cool. It's to protect us from crazy people and Nazis. And Mickey said if I ever touched it, he would rip my tongue out of my head and shove it up my butt. Do you want your tongues shoved up your butts!?"
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Series: Gallavich Shorts [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1611559
Comments: 34
Kudos: 447





	No Girls, No Booze, No Fire

Liam wasn't sure how it happened, but his lab group ended up working on their report at his house. There were at least five other places that would have been quieter, more spacious, more convenient, but nope. They were here now. Asking questions about Mickey of all things.

"Is it true he escaped prison?"

"I heard he ran a cartel in Mexico."

"I heard he used to have a whore house and that he married all of them."

Jake, Billy, Dejuan, and Marcus were okay guys. But they had 2 parents and clean houses and cussed because they thought it was dangerous. Liam didn't answer those questions because Mickey wouldn't like it, and because his family wasn't some kind of freakshow zoo.

"Does he have a gun?"

"Can we see it?"

"No! Okay? No!"

"Ugh! Come on Liam! It would be so cool--"

"Look, I see it all the time. It's not cool. It's to protect us from crazy people and Nazis. And Mickey said if I ever touched it, he would rip my tongue out of my head and shove it up my butt. Do you want your tongues shoved up your butts!?" They all grimaced at the same time. "Then shut up about it!"

There was a thump at the bottom of the stairs and Liam groaned. 

"Nice manners, Kofi," came Mickey's sleep-laced jab. His brother-in-law looked around the table, eyebrows drawn in close together. "Debbie start another daycare?"

"No," Liam answered as Mickey went to the fridge for a beer and sodas. He brought them over without asking, then sat next to Liam at the table. "We're a lab group."

"Like a meth lab?" he probed, flipping through his notebook as he took a swig of beer. The others snickered, but Liam knew he was serious. Mickey asked a lot of questions about school, and Liam was gearing up to talking about the GED. Carl said it was a suicide mission, but Mickey was really smart about more...practical things. Southside practical, anyway. If Liam helped him study, he could totally pass it. Then maybe he wouldn't have to work at the mall.

"Like science labs. We do experiments in class and then write a report about it."

"Oh. Cool. But uh, whaddya need these jokers for? They your assistants or something?"

The smiles dropped off their faces and it was Liam's turn to laugh as he opened his soda.

"Teacher assigned."

Mickey tossed his notebook back to the table, pulling a face.

"Yeesh. Dead weight. Tough break, Mandela." He took a swig of beer. "You guys need grub? Your brother's in a  _ mood _ but we can swing it."

"Pizza?"

"Are you really  _ the _ Mickey Milkovich?" Dejuan interrupted, staring at Mickey. Liam sighed and smacked his forehead as Mickey's face dropped to a sneer, hackles raised.

"Who the fuck wants to know?" he demanded furiously. Liam reached out to pat his shoulder, hoping to settle him down.

"Everybody at school heard about the Bamboo. Know you're home."

Mickey relaxed. "Oh." He pointed the neck of his bottle at Dejuan. "You ain't Mexican are you?"

" _ No _ ?" 

He nodded, mostly to himself. "Yeah, I'm Mickey or whatever." He nudged Liam with his foot, his usual warning that he was about to yell. He was the only person who did that. "Hey Gallagher! Haul ass! We're late!"

He turned back to realize the other boys were staring at him. Liam knew it was making his skin crawl. Mickey didn't like too much attention on him from anyone. Except Ian. He did dumb shit to get Ian's attention. He slumped to lean closer to Liam.

"Why are they looking at me like that?" he muttered out the side of his mouth. Liam cleared his throat.

"They also just found out you're gay. And married to my brother," he answered as calmly as possible. Mickey shook his head.

"That is  _ not _ new information."

"That's what  _ I  _ said," Liam insisted. Mickey straightened, grumbling to himself about bigoted pricks and people's fat mouths. He didn't say much else about it, but flipped through Liam's math textbook, tilting his head as he tried to understand it. Liam's group partners kept staring, not even drinking the sodas Mickey brought, so Liam sighed and kept working. There were some shouts from upstairs and Franny screeched all of the sudden, but only his guests seemed to be concerned about it. After a couple of minutes, Mickey growled and shut the book.

"Jesus fucking christ, your brother's such a queen. Hair does not need this much work."

"Doctor's appointment?"

"Therapy. I keep tellin' him it's not a fucking party, you can't just show up whenever ya want."

"He just doesn't want to go."

Mickey jabbed a finger at him. "You said it, not me."

Liam sighed and bobbed his head, not exactly thrilled about what he was going to say. It was a touchy subject, especially after the wedding. Lip wasn't gone but he spent a lot of time trying to see Freddy. Carl worked a lot, even though Ian was trying to get him back toward the police academy. And Debbie just was never around. She always brought back money or whatever, but that meant Liam was in charge of Franny. Ian and Mickey didn't like it.

"Well...why don't you surprise him with a date night? Just go out after?"

Mickey lifted his brows. "Debbie here?"

Liam rolled his eyes. "No."

"Then fuck no, Holgate." He downed the rest of his beer and dropped a hand to Liam's head, fingers clenching his hair affectionately. Franny came flying down the stairs as Mickey got up. She giggled as he swept her up into his arms and playfully bit at her. Ian wasn't far behind.

"Shit, she's fast." He scrunched his nose at their group at the table. "I thought we shut down Debbie Daycare."

But Mickey was ushering him toward the front door, squabbling with a squirmy Franny, ignoring him mostly.

"We'll be back in 2 hours, Tutu! No girls, no booze--"

"No fire!" Liam finished. "I got it! Go already!"

His classmates were still staring and Liam was really losing his patience with it.

" _ What _ ?"

Marcus snapped out of it first. "Your family. Is so cool."

The others agreed, chiming in what they thought was the best part. Liam, himself, didn't always agree. His family could be a bunch of real assholes and they liked to blame each other for shit. But for a group of kids that had to raise each other? They weren't so bad. At least they cared.

"Do they have sex?" Billy asked.

Liam pulled a face. "They're  _ married _ !"

"Yeah but like…" Jake leaned in and whispered, as if they weren't the only ones there. "Butt stuff?" The other boys leaned, annoyingly eager to hear his answer.

Liam sat back and patted his paper on the table.

"You know what? I can finish this myself. Why don't you guys go home and jerk off or something?"

He got up and basically threw them out of the house, even though they complained the whole time. He shut and locked the door, satisfied at the sound, then sat and got to work. He'd text Mickey about the pizza. Cause Mickey was right, those guys were dead weight. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> All of Mickey's nicknames for Liam are famous Africans from various countries. Liam's teaching him who they are.


End file.
